Here’s the key to casual sex: be honest from the get-go. Let’s say you’re hooking up with a girl and that’s all you want. First, be sure she’s into you. Then, get over your shyness. Tell her you want to keep it at this level and give a reason why – but an honest reason. Whatever it is, she needs to feel like it’s true. After that, keep the lines of communication open. It’ll save things from getting messy later on.
1. Be Warned
From the outset, gentlemen, be forewarned: If you get even an inkling that she’s not down with no strings attached, abort the mission. “But I was upfront with her,” you say. “But she was cool with just hooking up,” you say. Yeah, but remember how she looked at you while you sat on the bed afterward and put your shirt back on? Remember how she texted you to tell you about her day, her job, how maybe you could meet her for lunch at that Korean place where you had your first date? Those were signs that she wanted to date you. If she’s developed feelings for you and you continue to fuck her, you’re the asshole. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense. The point is, tread lightly.
2. Still Be a Gentleman
The last thing you want is for her to feel like you’re on the winning end of a one-sided transaction. Make her feel appreciated, even though she’s just fucking you. Taking her out to dinner might signal that you want something more serious from her. But listen to her and laugh at her jokes. If you’re meeting at her
place, pick up a coffee for her, or her favorite smoothie. Ask her, “Are you still cool with this being this?” Get a signature haircut, beard trim or cleanup so that she sees you’re putting effort into seeing her. Hooking up should feel like an exciting adventure, not a sloppy booty call. And if you need some pro tips on how to look sharp, check out Barber Surgeon Guilds’ blog or products page.
3. The Friend Zone/Gray Zone
When you’re hooking up with someone over and over, something weird can happen: You sort of land in the friend zone. Yes, we’ve all seen Friends with Benefits, but it’s still a weird place to be. Sometimes your intimacy can turn into affection, where she’s telling you about her other sexcapades and you’re telling her about yours. Don’t get jealous, and also don’t slip into the Friend Zone. Keep it steamy. That means sexting like a grown man and maintaining the discipline to stay chiseled so that she’s wowed every time you come over and slip off your shirt and carry her to the bed.
“The endless hookup” is a probably a phase not fated to last long. It’s a tightrope balance that can dip dramatically – she feels like you’re treating her like shit, you start to crush on her, whatever. Even the movie ends with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake kissing as if they’re falling in love. But that’s Hollywood, and in real hookups, people often end up feeling ignored, neglected or washed-out. So keep it fun for her. Stay real, stay fit, and make sure it’s worth her while. She’ll appreciate your honesty.