{"id":832,"date":"2018-03-04T08:30:30","date_gmt":"2018-03-04T13:30:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dispatch.barbersurgeonsguild.com\/?p=832"},"modified":"2018-03-04T08:30:30","modified_gmt":"2018-03-04T13:30:30","slug":"heros-journey-failure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/barbersurgeonsguild.com\/es\/magazine\/heros-journey-failure\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hero\u2019s Journey: Failure"},"content":{"rendered":"

I just finished a long day of work. I\u2019m in London, England and just completed a three hour drive with my friend and colleague from Manchester, England. It was a successful workweek. I\u2019ve been away from home for over a week this time. I live in NYC. I\u2019ve been away from my native home, CA for nearly three years. California is where all my friends and family reside. I visit often but not often enough. I only have two more days left on this trip and then it\u2019s back to NYC. Since I moved to NYC it has been hard to find good friends. I guess, as we get older, that\u2019s just how it goes. It takes time to develop that level of trust and respect in another human being.\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

I always found myself gravitating towards older friends. I found it easier to relate to friends who are 10-20 years my elder. Not sure why but I always got along with my seniors. After my divorce I moved into the \u201cMelrose Place\u201d of the Orange County, CA. Pools, beautiful people and parties every weekend, all weekend. \u00a0I\u2019ve been in my new home for about a week and my brand new storage unit was vandalized. Some asshole thieves stole my tools and my fishing pole! I just moved in and bought a new flat screen TV. I go to fetch my tools only to find out that they have been stolen (I\u2019m shedding tears while writing this). There I stand in shock, \u201cFuck! \u00a0They took my shit!\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A large man approaches me. \u201cDamn, they got you.\u201d he says. \u00a0\u201cYup, they even took my fishing pole!\u201d I replied \u201cand I needed my drill to mount my TV\u201d. \u00a0He replies, \u201cYou can use mine. I\u2019m in 4R, just bring it up when you\u2019re done.\u201d Cool, nice guy I thought to myself. \u00a0He\u2019s a large dude\u2026in fact, he\u2019s a massive dude, a body builder. Did he<\/em> steal my shit? I thought to myself. \u00a0\u201cThanks, I\u2019ll bring it right up once I\u2019m done.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That was my first encounter with Mike Nichols, who soon after became my friend, my confidant, my advisor, my mentor and later my groomsman. It\u2019s funny how one apparent random coincidence can turn into a life-changing meeting. Mike and I were like peas and carrots over the next 4 years. He was an entrepreneur, inventor, investor and all-round awesome person. He was older than me but it was if we grew up together. We just hit it off and hung out a lot. We like the same stupid movies, jokes and even shared the same strange affinity for diet and exercise. Mike taught me about investing and business ownership. He taught me about taking risk and being patient. We shared everything, from family struggles, love life, past and present relationships, personal failures and successes and most importantly we were honest with each other. I called him out on his shit and he did the same for me. He was in love with an amazing woman. I was single and having fun. He would advise me on the women I would date. Finally I met the one. A local girl! We could finally double date. Only problem was, this local girl lived in NYC. \u00a0We dated cross-country and every two weeks she would visit and we could all go out on a double date. Mike was my companion when she was gone. He was still my partner in crime and kept me company in between visits. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in my hotel in London, England. I haven\u2019t seen Mike for a few months but I\u2019m planning a trip to CA soon to visit. We haven\u2019t spoken in a while so when I got an email from him.\u00a0 From Mike Nichols<\/em>: \u201cGreg, <\/span>I am\u00a0Mike\u2019s sister.\u00a0 I need you to contact me ASAP regarding Mike.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m panicking and reply \u201cis everything ok with Mike? \u00a0I\u2019ll try to call you ASAP.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How do you prepare for the worst day of your life? How do handle your biggest failure? I make the call. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to Mike?\u201d\u00a0 I asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Greg, Mike took his his own life.\u201d I have failed him I thought. If I was there, If I didn\u2019t move, If I didn\u2019t\u2026”What, what happened, how?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I can barely speak. My body nearly shuts down. I have to hang up. This cannot be real. This is a dream. Only it wasn\u2019t. I failed my best friend. If I were home, this would not happen. I lived with this for a long time. Even to this day, four years later I still feel that I failed him a little bit.<\/span><\/p>\n

Presently, I\u2019m reading through old emails from Mike. Reliving old memories. Old jokes about \u201cchorizo tacos\u201d, Christmas party plans, financial advice, government issues. Everyone in my family loved Mike. He was an amazing human. How could I have not seen this? How could I have let him down? I carried this failure for a long time. I think about my life since he passed and wonder what it would be like if he was here. I\u2019ve invested in many stocks. Opened new businesses and made a major job change. I opened a new restaurant right in his former hometown. Maybe to pay homage to my mentor, my best friend, my brother! \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Mike passed away there was a silver lining. I became close with his sister, brother in-law and their children. Our new restaurant is literally one mile from their house.\u00a0 They say it’s something Mike would have done. They see a lot of Mike in me. I see a lot of Mike in them. When I thought I failed him, I did all I could to help others in my life. I pay more attention to people who are in pain or who express any type of hurt. It can take just one kind gesture or even a smile to alter someone\u2019s negative thought that day which can alter the rest of his or her day. I may not have failed Mike but I responded as if I did because I loved him and don\u2019t\u2019 want anyone to feel what he felt in that final moment. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m reading more emails and reminiscing. What a great friend. He helped me to get to where I am right now! Sometimes failure leads to your greatest successes. If I failed Mike then I have many more people to help and make successful. Mike, I thank you for your friendship, your love, your wisdom, your support, your friendship and your success and your failures. \u00a0I\u2019ll take our failing friendship over a lifetime of bullshit, phony friendships any day. You\u2019re my Brother in this life and the next. See you again, Chaka!<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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