Many people accept the idea that learning how to be cool takes place early in life. There’s this prevailing thought that, if you’re not cool by the time you leave high school, it’s just not going to happen. If you’ve accepted this as a fact of life, you need to start by calming the heck down and taking a breath. Rest assured, being cool and looking hot isn’t necessarily a born trait.
In fact, you might already be cool without knowing it. No one noticed Vincent van Gogh was cool until after his death, and while you definitely don’t want to wait that long, there’s no doubt that you can get to the point of being cool. Sometimes, you just need a little help bringing out all the suave and debonair. Luckily for the all the lost souls, this guide will help you accomplish just that.
Stop Being So Needy
Before we delve into all the other methods of how to be cool and hot, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Guys need to stop being so damned needy. Once you’re done reading this guide, you might walk into a bar and immediately catch all the ladies’ eyes, but the moment you come off as needy, you might as well scratch that pickup spot off your list.
The fact is that women don’t like needy guys, and if you find one that does, rest assured there should be some red flags going off. This personality trait (i.e. flaw) can become exhausting for those we’re around. More to the point, though, it’s downright depressing. Most of us have been around an excessively needy person, and it really just sucks the positivity out of the room.
It’s understandable that this trait might be a difficult one to conquer, but all the How to Be Cool guides in the world won’t help if everyone sees you as needy. And while this may seem cheesy, the first step in overcoming this is recognizing you have value. You just need to take measures to fight against the anxiety you feel.
If all else fails, though, fake it! When you feel that urge to talk too much or follow a lady’s movements nonstop, just stop where you are and engage in a little unhealthy repression. It can go a long way.
Don’t Underestimate the Hair
We’re obviously going to touch base on how to dress and put on an attractive face (yeah, you can tweak your face), but it’s important that we start with the hair. Some guys think they’re limited on what they can do with their mane, so they often put no thought into it at all. Then you’ve got the manly men who think paying too much attention to their hair is ‘girly.’
You’ve got to stop thinking that way immediately. Do you think Brad Pitt woke up every day looking like that during the filming of Fight Club? No way. Add this to the fact that women are five times more likely to contact guys on dating apps with full heads of hair, and it becomes obvious just how important this feature really is.
You should start by having a frank discussion with your barber. You don’t exactly have to tell them you’re learning how to be cool and hot, but let them know you’re looking for something stylish. Check out these sexy men’s hairstyles for ideas, but keep in mind that not every ‘do’ will look good on every guy. This is why the barbershop discussion is important.
“But article-writing guy, my hair is thinning!” Calm down, that’s not the end of the world. There are countless hair loss products out there that can do wonders, and if you really want to take the bull by the horns, you should consider a scalp camo procedure.
Clean Yourself, For Crying Out Loud
Your plans were to sit at home Friday night and watch the new Breaking Bad movie, but then your buddy called up and said you’re going out. While the last-minute nature of this request may make skipping the shower seem like an acceptable move, there is no situation where this is true. A full 63 percent of singles cited an ‘unclean appearance’ as an immediate deal breaker.
Even if you learn how to be cool, most people are going to quickly judge a book by its cover. And if your cover is frayed with moisture stains, rest assured you’re getting left on the shelf. Wash your hair, clip your fingernails, use some deodorant and for crying out loud, put on a clean shirt. Having a clean and kempt appearance will get you through the first hurdle so you can put your cool new attitude on display.
Put Some Effort into Dressing Nice
Dressing well is one of the few tips that will make you look cooler and hotter. When you’re dressing for success, you need to first consider the situational aspect of your day. Are you going out on a Tinder date or hanging with the guys at a sports bar? Is the order of the day to land a cushy new job? Whatever the case, you need to tailor your outfit to the situation.
If the moment calls for a suit, make sure that you wear it well. The fit of a suit will determine whether you look refined or like you just came from Goodwill. If you’re going out in jeans, opt for dark, raw denim. Pre-distressed jeans are falling out of style, and your pair will eventually get distressed on its own. Snag a good watch, pick out some nice matching shoes and head out into the world.
Learn Some Practical Skills
When learning how to be cool, you’ll figure out that it’s not always about what you say and wear. As it turns out, women love guys with practical skills as well. A willingness to listen, for instance, is a trait that’s constantly listed by women as a huge turn on. Your ability to cook and clean also typically falls under “practical skills,” but so does romancing.
And if you can get the romancing down pat, you can work on the cleaning later.
Two of the main practical skills women view as ‘hot’ are your earning potential and how good you are in bed. Remember that earning potential is just that: potential. This means going to school for a great job is almost as beneficial as actually having that job.
When it comes to sex, you can get better through practice, a better diet and even asking what a girl wants. Just to set you in the right direction, though, here’s a guide on how to hit a woman’s G-spot.
Develop a Sense of Humor
Being in a band or riding a motorcycle can go a long way in making you look cool. Fortunately, a sense of humor can go even farther. Plus, it requires much less practice and cash. One study found that over 80 percent of women listed a sense of humor as the most important trait in a partner. Sure, you’ll snag lots of gals by being generally cool, but if you want a partner, humor is where it’s at.
Just like knowing how to be cool, many guys think you either have a sense of humor or you don’t. Fortunately, this isn’t always the case. In fact, the first step in developing a witty sense of humor is knowing that you can. Like most things in life, it all comes down to practice. Do you have a friend who enjoys quipping with others? Spend time with them as a witty ‘sparring partner.’
You can also just get out in the world and immerse yourself in conversation. Being witty requires spontaneity, and while jumping into this endeavor headfirst might be a trial by fire, it’s one of the best ways to improve. Sarcasm and silly humor are also enjoyable, but they can also get really old, really fast. Keep them ready on the bench, but make wit your starting pitcher.
Another sound tip is to immerse yourself in humor. Funny podcasts, humorous books and standup comedians are all great tools in this process. This can give you general ideas on how to respond to certain situations, but since you’re not a professional comedian anyway, you can also straight up steal some okes.
Case in point: I had a Tinder date tell me she would not put up with any shenanigans. Not a great addition to the conversation, right? I quickly responded with:
“Please, I haven’t shenaniganned in about six years. I’ve hooliganned, I’ve no-good-nicked, I’ve ne’er-done-well, just yesterday I found myself rabble-rousing…”
She got a kick out of it, and I got to thank Eric Forman from That 70’s Show for getting me a second date. You work with what you’ve got!
Oh, and on a closing note… PLEASE know your audience. A joke that’s inappropriate in a certain situation could ruin your social life.
Even if Beauty is Only Skin Deep…
Guys who learn how to be cool without a little accompanying hotness usually hang out in one spot: The Friend Zone. They say beauty is only skin deep, but try telling that to Steve Urkel, the funniest and nicest kid in Chicago who still needed nine seasons of Family Matters to land his dream girl.
You’re probably saying “Humor, hair, clothes and even sex I can do, but how do I physically get more attractive?”
Glad you asked. While you may not be able to completely change your face – outside of extensive plastic surgery – you can make it more appealing. Start by getting rid of imperfections. If you’ve got acne or similar skin problems, there are tons of over-the-counter medications you can utilize. If they don’t work, go visit a dermatologist. They can give you the good stuff.
When it comes to scarring, wrinkles and other hard-to-treat facial imperfections, though, there are fewer options you can just purchase at the pharmacy. Fortunately, laser treatments are available that can reduce scarring, smooth your skin, balance your color tone and more. Even better is that these procedures can often be done in under 15 minutes.
The moral of the story is that you should never just assume that you’re stuck with what you’ve got. That’s rarely the case.
Did you know that self-confidence affects your sex life? Then again, you might not have much of a sex life if this trait is lacking. Ask any lady, and she’ll tell you that confidence is one of the most important features in a man. Improving in this area can garner even the most basic guy a few extra points on the hotness scale.
Fortunately, there are countless ways you can improve your confidence. In fact, it’s a travesty that more guys don’t know about them. To start, you’ve got to get over your shyness. Our handy guide on How to Overcome Shyness should help there. Of course, you can speed this process up by engaging in the following activities:
- Do something every day that scares you.
- Remember our tips on dressing and looking better? Yeah, do those.
- Visualize an image of yourself that you’re proud of.
- Question your harshest critic – Yourself.
- Perceive yourself as equal to everyone. No one is better than you.
Confidence goes a long way in being cool and looking hot. Outside of not smelling like a fish and cabbage factory, this might be your best bet in hitting the pinnacle of coolness.
Start Working Out
People might have different ideas on what makes a person look better, but you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who doesn’t recognize the aesthetic benefits of working out. Having toned arms will make you more likely to show them off (i.e. confidence builder), and the ladies will have difficulty denying that you look much hotter as well.
This isn’t something you can just take lightly. Going on a walk five times a week might benefit your health, but it’s typically not going to be enough for an increase in hotness. Find some daily workouts to stay in shape, and if you have a specific feature you really want to show off (e.g. chest, arms, legs), then focus on utilizing exercises that help in that area.
There are few things in life that can provide the boost in attractiveness provided by a fit and healthy body. You don’t have to get ripped like a bodybuilder for these benefits, but the ladies will always love a guy who can pick her up with ease and look good while doing so.
Show the World You Know How to Be Cool
Now that you’ve got all these tips under your belt, it’s time to put them into action. Fortune waits for no man, and if you keep telling yourself ‘I’ll start tomorrow,’ rest assured that you’ll probably never do it. And if you really need some motivation, just realize that you might miss out on the hottest girl in town or that awesome job just because you thought, ‘one more day won’t hurt.’
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking how to be cool and hot is out of your control. Change up your act, grab some new threads and, if you’re worried about certain physical attributes, check out what Barber Surgeons Guild can do for you.